Catholic Guilt

A wish...

I don’t have children, and do not know what the future holds, but, if one day I am blessed with a daughter…

I desire my daughter to grow up with strength, confidence, and grace.  I want her to know that she can stand equal next to her mate, comfort her children, and have a successful career – if this is her chosen path.  I want her to know that despite failure, she will awaken the following morning with another opportunity for success.

I desire her to know what an honor it is to be a woman; to bring life into this world, and grace the earth with her presence.  I want her to spray a bit of perfume on her neck so that when she hugs someone, the last thing they will remember is her scent when they pull away.   I want her to feel comfortable in an elegant, flowing dress in Tuscany, confident in a business suit and heels in New York City and feel gorgeous in jeans and a t-shirt in her garden.

Above all else, I want to give her the grace of my style, and for her to see the strength in her own character.  I want her to know she came from a long line of hard-working, strong and confident women – who took pride in being the back bone of their family.  I desire for her to realize she may not only be tough as nails but sweet as sugar and revel in the strength femininity affords her.

Simply put, I love being a woman and wish to pass that along.

Sugar and Spice print by Nella Designs can be found here.

 
 

Love kills slowly...

Surely I cannot be the only person who is infatuated with Ed Hardy, especially their "Love Kills Slowly" line.  Oh my goodness.  It is one of my favorite images.  I love it so much, I had to get a steering wheel cover for my ride.  No joke, I waltzed into Pep Boys like I belonged there amidst the pimpled faced teen boys perving over the naked girl silhouettes for their new car - aka, the parents old, oil spewing station wagon with wood paneling parked proudly front and center in the handicapped space by the front door.

 

Behold, the newest in the "Love Kills" line.  I'm swooning in case you couldn't tell.  Me. Want. Now.

"In this Economy"...

Oh how I hate hearing that phrase.  Unfortunately, it's a reality I wish I didn't know but many of my friends and family have been effected by our economic downturn which is looking like it's begun the slow process upward.  Having been effected by it myself, it does teach you a few lessons worth learning.  "Things" do not matter as much as health and love.   I'm fortunate to be healthy and loved by friends and family. 

But as Christmas rolls around, I want to show those people how much I love and appreciate them.  And a big dose of "I love you" just won't cut it.  So this year, more than ever, I'm turning to the fine talent at Etsy.

Everytime I visit, I get lost in some amazingly beautiful and affordable items.  Having grown up in a household with a grandmother who worked magic with needle and thread, I am ever appreciative of the beauty of hand made unique items.  So if you aren't visiting my site for some pretty jewelry (shameless plug, would you expect any less), visit my friends at ETSY, I'm sure they'll have something you'll  love.

There's someone in my bed...

My sneaky little Katie is loving the new white duvet cover my BFF gave me. Thank goodness it's machine wasable because Katie isn't!

Frye Leather Goods

I ♥ this to-die for bag by Frye.  I've been stalking it for a couple weeks now, hoping it goes on sale...but alas, it continues to taunt me with it's vintage meets country western come-hither appeal, sexy lines, worn leather, handsome studs and an overall look I could  just rock until the cows come home.  Ohhhh why must I have expensive taste?

 

"I need you now"

I don't have tons of music on my iPod because for me, songs are about the emotions they elicit.  So I'm very selective with the songs I choose to listen to.  I have playlists for certain moods and recently added this song, one of my recent favorites as it reminds me of someone very special.  The lyrics and music are absolutely beautiful and moving.  Enjoy...

Click on picture for video, it's equally as beautiful as the song.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
To me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now

Happy Halloween...

I planned on taking some photos of the nearby cemetery to share with you because it’s been ages since I’ve stepped foot and I’m actually pretty comfortable in a cemetery.   When I was a child, my aunt was grieving the loss of her husband so most weekends were spent with a trip to the cemetery.   No, I wasn’t raised by Morticia Adams, my name is not Wednesday and I’m not “Goth”…I was raised by normal Catholic parents, in a normal culturally rich and religious community and as such I have a healthy dose of Catholic guilt and enjoy cemeteries.  It's perfectly normal, I assure you.

While I do enjoy the darker side of things:  Gothic architecture, black is amongst my favorite color for clothing, I find Morticia Adams to be extremely sexy, I love rich dark velvety damask fabrics…but what I am about to show you is NOT normal, even for me. 

Meet Dead Dollie, she was the star in my cubicle decor for a Halloween decorating contest at the office.  I blame my coworkers.  I was a little inspired by the antics of a couple prankster coworkers who thought it was amusing to place cobwebs all over the boss's assistant's chair (yeah, don't forget it boys)  and monitor with a big black hairy spider.  Well, I decided to run with it.

Hence as you can see, I don’t quite know when to stop; cobwebs everywhere.  And it just wasn’t complete without a victim.  So I picked up a sweet and innocent little doll, tore her head off, put out an eye and added fake blood and black lipstick.  I’d have burned her hair if I had enough time.   It’s all good clean Halloween fun I tell you!   Even Katie got in on the action.  After not winning the cubicle contest, I had to console dead dollie, so I brought her home.  The moment I pulled her out of my purse, Miss Katie snatched her from me like she was some sort of chew toy. 

Yes, I know...disturbing.  But didn't the picture come out great!?

Katie and friends...

Katie and I met up with some of her Corgi friends at the local doggy park for a little fun in the sun.  Corgis are just the cutest little things.  I love it when they get together and play.  They simply speak the same language, have similar play styles and get along like one big happy dysfunctional family.

These little guys had a blast together.  What a nice relaxing day watching them at play unable to stop giggling and saying..."Awwwwwwww".

Dating and Eye Cream...

I recently joined the ranks of my fellow single ladies and spent 3 full weekends filling out the eHarmony questionnaire determined to sound like a sane single female as opposed to a "Single white female", I watched the movie, I'm NOT in denial of my possible alternate future.  That's right, keep the bunnies indoors.  I realize how important it is to look good because let's face it, single folks are superficial.  The first thing I - erm - they do is look at the pictures on profiles.   And while I may only still be 29 (for the last few years), I don't want my future husband and father of my children to see even a hint of crows feet.  While I have considered joining the Cougars, silly me prefers mature men.  I just don't want to have to compete with the prom queen for my hottie's attention.  Call me crazy.

When I was undergoing treatment for hair loss...which by the way has stopped and is actually regrowing to the point it's almost unnoticeable.  Yay!  My fabulous doctor took pity on me for forcing myself to crack botox jokes as he was needling my scalp and offered me botox treatment.  I suppose he didn't want a bald and wrinkled patient coming out of his office - lest the other patients begin to question his expertise.  Needles in one's face hurts just as much in one's scalp.  Ugh, the price we pay for beauty.

In my research for fabulous age defying alternatives because I've had it with needles, I stumbled upon La Mer's Eye Balm.  I shrieked at the price, then looked at the tiny little wrinkles that taunted me, threatening to enlarge, I ordered a sample on eBay because I've been known to spend way too much on stuff that just doesn't work.  Anyway, wow...this cream is the fountain of youth.  I've only been using it for a week and I can already notice the tiny lines around my eyes are disappearing.  Needless to say, I'm ordering the eye balm, face cream, cleansing lotion...who needs to pay the mortgage anyway?

So it looks like if and when I do have children, I won't be mistaken for their grandmother.  I can do MILF, thankyouverymuch. 

Strength, hope and love...

I used to think I knew all about strength; about being strong.  But on Friday, I learned first hand as I met my cousin and her husband in ICU after their son was transported 3.5 hours from the Central Valley to the Bay Area in hopes that this medical facility will have additional resources with which to heal his lungs after a suspected virus rendered his lungs unable to support his breathing.

Strength is being told your first born will not make it through the night; watching him struggle in the intensive care unit for his life, and being helpless to make him better; only relying on your faith in God, with nothing but hope and prayers.  Strength is sitting across the table from doctors as they tell you that your little guy is VERY sick and not giving up hope but rather, asking the doctors to do their job, because you as a mother and father will do yours, you will pray, you will be strong and you refuse to give up. 

Hope comes in the form of numbers; numbers that represent oxygen and nitrogen levels, blood pressure, settings on the machines that are keeping your child alive while the last resort piece of equipment, the 'iron lung' remains on standby outside of your child's intensive care room, just in case.

Love...love is in the heart of my cousin and her husband as they endure something no parent should endure.  Their little boy is fighting for his life.  

Today there is visible progress, it's slow, it may not seem like much, but it is there.  He is not out of the woods yet; it will be slow, but with strength, hope and love his parents, sister and extended family will endure each day and hurdle, one at a time.